Clare, Dan and Gooch chat

Danny - Hi Clare, how are you?

Clare - Fine thanks, Danny.

d - Are you sure, you just sneezed quite aggressively. Is everything ok?

c- Yeah, stuff's fine. I hate my name being abbreviated though. Twats me right off.

d- Me too. Disrespectful.

c- Hmm.

d - So, what's with the spunky face?

c - Oh, that? Just some guy's spunk.

d- What really? I was kinda joking.

c- Yeah, this guy Cohuna. I don't even fancy him, he just keeps spunking on
my face.

d- Oh.

c- I know, it's mental really. I don't really like spunk all that much if I’m honest. Bit tiresome after a while.

d- Hmm.

c- I'm not sure I approve of the way I'm being portrayed in this conversation. I sound a bit slutty. I don't like that.

d- Well, you've got spunk on your face Clare, what can I do? I can't just ignore that shit.

c- Yeah, but who says I got spunk on my face? You're writing this, Danny, had you forgotten?

d- Clare, you're making this a little too fashionably post-modern for my liking. there's something awfully morbid about the whole thing.

c- Oh lighten up Danny, you idiot. Can't we just accept this neat literary trick and move the fuck on? See, I've changed the tone by swearing. I sound like a sweary person now. You know, tattoo, smokes, swears, wears hoop earrings and probably wonders what her parents would look like if they were given a hundred pounds and told to buy "glam".

Gooch – What do you think is the quickest way to kill a chicken?

c- Probably just strangle it.

d- Wait, where did you come from?

g- I was just crouching.

d-

g- Really low.

d- Oh ok.

g-

d- Well why didn’t you talk to us before?

g- I was. You just weren’t listening.

d- But you didn’t say anything.

g- Ah, well not out loud, no.

c- It bums being abbreviated huh?

g- I quite like it. g-. I sound important. Like a spy.

c- Shall we play a game?

g- Let’s play twister.

d- No, no! Gooch, you’d never suggest to play twister in real life.

g- Yes I would. Let’s play twister. Are you saying this isn’t real life?

c- Well, what is real?

d- Oh for Christ’s sake, don’t start that shit.

c- But when you think about it, nothing is “real” is it?

d- Yes it is. This is “real”-ly annoying me. This conversation. It’s boring, dude.

c- I often wonder if I’ve seen a ghost. I sometimes look at myself in the mirror
at night. And it’s like a presence, you know? A presence, and I wonder, well is that real? I mean it felt real. But maybe it was just the nerves in my body moving or changing and just a chemical reaction, but I don’t know that. It feels real to me, so surely that’s as real as can be. Like a dream, a dream is real regardless of the fact that one day you have to wake up from your moment of unreality. How amazing are dreams anyway….

d- I’m off.

g- Where?

d- To bed, it’s dead late, I’m tired and I've got to buy groceries tomorrow.

g- Bye then.

d- Bye.

c- See ya!